


you can fit a lifetime in a day with the right person

by damnandreil



Category: They Both Die at the End - Adam Silvera
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Sad, tbdate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 20:40:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30044439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/damnandreil/pseuds/damnandreil
Summary: 'It took Mateo Torrez dying to realise your life doesn't flash before your eyes, at least not how you'd expect it too'In which Mateo Torrez lives a lifetime with Rufus in the moments he is dying.
Relationships: Rufus Emeterio/Mateo Torrez
Kudos: 4





	you can fit a lifetime in a day with the right person

It took dying for Mateo Torrez to realise your life doesn’t flash before your eyes, at least not how you’d expect it too.

He thought he would see his regrets, his triumphs, his highs, his lows. He thought everything he’d ever done, every chance he didn’t take, everything that led to where he was in this moment would appear to taunt him and prove that he had only really lived on his final day alive.

He did not expect to see himself making tea on the stove, especially not after it had tried to kill him. Or had killed him. He didn’t know where he stood in this life anymore. He also didn’t know why he was standing in front of himself right now. The boy really didn’t understand much.

He couldn’t decide what was worse: the searing pain that had crept up slowly and wrapped itself tightly around every inch of him, or having to see himself in third person. He was there, making tea right in front of him and he couldn’t understand why. Mateo watched as he boiled the kettle on a working stove that didn’t just blow him up and calmly take the tea to his bedroom. He followed himself through as he gently placed the cups on a shelf and sat on his bed next to Rufus.

Rufus.

Rufus was there.

Both versions of Mateo stared at Rufus, one out of awe for the beautiful boy sat sleeping in his bed and the other through a teary screen as he laid eyes on him again. He was safe. They were safe. They were together and everything was fine. He looked on as Other Mateo gently shook the boy awake and was greeted with a hazy smile. They stayed that way for a while, gazing at each other and taking it all in- taking their time. Time that they now had. Rufus sat up, using one hand to reach for the mug and wrapping the other around Mateo’s waist. They were happy.

It all went dark. Mateo felt a panic rise as the burning from before crept higher and higher, digging deeper into his skin. He needed to scream and he needed someone to hear. He needed a release.

Then Rufus was there again.

He was running down the streets of Brooklyn, the wind catching in his hair and dancing around his figure. His stare was that of a determined man as he ploughed down the streets. He allowed himself one quick glance behind him to see Other Mateo closing the gap before letting himself go and running full speed. Mateo wasn’t having any of it. He ran faster than the wind itself, running and running as Althea Park came into view. He closed his eyes and felt as though he could become one with the air around him, floating with each foot that left the ground.

Until of course, he came tumbling towards it.

His fall was broken by his boyfriend who had the unfortunate task of being crashed into. Mateo watched as his other self rolled off and lay next to him- staring at the sky. Somehow the boys' hands had found each other and they sat comfortably in silence in the middle of the park. They were in no rush to move, no rush to get up and live. They had time.

The Real Mateo stared on in confusion, wondering why he saw him and Rufus here, alive and well, in memories that felt so real yet so far away. Why was he here watching things unfold when everything in his body screamed that he was dying.

Why did he have time?

He watched as Rufus slowly turned his head and caught the look in his eye. The look he gave Other Mateo when he couldn’t see was so full of love and admiration it hurt that Mateo would never see that face again. Or maybe he would, he still couldn’t tell if he had died yet. The boys’ eyes met and they began to laugh, a real one that was brimming with youth and pure bliss. Other Mateo closed the gap between them as their lips met and everything began to go dark again.

Mateo wasn’t worried this time although the pain was becoming more apparent and severe the more time that passed. He didn’t know how many more of these he had left.

This time he watched as Other Mateo sat upright in Lidia’s bed, panic in his eyes as he heard the Death-Cast alert. With shaky hands he reached over for his phone only to realise it wasn’t his ringing. The sudden relief was seized by a worsened panic as he saw Rufus waking up beside him and prayed it wasn’t him. The same motions ran through his eyes as he grabbed for his phone to realise it also wasn’t his. Rufus turned to Other Mateo, momentarily panic-stricken before understanding they were both safe today. If he wasn’t dying and neither was Mateo it begged the question, who was? The answer lit up in their faces as they remembered whose house they were in.

Lidia.

Mateo didn’t see them rush to find her on the sofa, sobbing into the inevitable call but he knew how he’d react. He knew he would stand there crying into Rufus’ shirt like she was already gone until his knees gave in and he sank to the floor in despair. He couldn’t lose Lidia. Not today.

The scene once again changed and Mateo had to hold his breath to stop it from shaking.

Him, Rufus and an older Penny were sat round a table as the two boys eyed up a fourth person. Rufus’ glare was intimidating and while Mateo wished he could say the same, it had the same effect as an angry, fluffy cat. Mateo had never seen this girl before but from the way her knuckles turned white in Penny’s grip, he knew she was being sized up.

He was shaking more than he realised, hands wrapped tightly around his waist and wishing Rufus was here to steady them. He saw their lips move but could not hear a thing- not that he needed too. Lidia had left Penny to them and she had grown up and brought home a girl.

Mateo thought he might lose it when everything changed again.

He was rushing up the hospital stairs, hand grasping Rufus’ tightly as he hurled him along too. Where he was running too, Mateo had no clue for his expression was unreadable. They looked out of breath but the boy was determined- flying down the corridor as he fell short at a door. Mateo watched as Rufus placed a gentle hand on his back and urged him inside.

His dad was awake.

He couldn’t watch the tearful reunion and tender hugs, let alone Rufus walking in and shaking his hand. He couldn’t stand to see the joy light up in his dad’s face as he was introduced to his son's boyfriend, so happy that he had managed to live in the years he was asleep. Happy that the universe had granted him time, time to come back and settle in again. Time that Mateo knew he was running out of.

When it changed again, he saw his dad receive the call. Years had passed since he had woken up and Mateo knew he was old enough for it to be peaceful. He held his hand that night as he drifted into a sleep and found himself unable to cry, an older Rufus hugged him from behind and they found comfort in the silence.

Mateo saw himself when the visions changed once again, yet he was much older. He sat beside Rufus in their bed and he knew what was to come. They were old and looked peaceful, content with a lifetime together and days filled with time they were lucky to have. He finally let the tears come full force, unaware he was holding anything back until now.

Everything faded to black as Mateo tried so hard to grip onto whatever these false memories were, onto whatever these lifetimes filled with him and Rufus meant. To leave meant to die and Mateo Torrez could not die without Rufus here to make it all come true.

He could not die without him here to calm the panic in his head as everything went quiet.

It took dying for Mateo Torrez to realise your life flashes before your eyes in those seconds before you give up.

It took dying for Mateo Torrez to realise it’s not your life that flashes, not exactly.

It took dying for Mateo Torrez to realise it’s the life you could’ve lived, the life you so desperately wanted if only you’d stayed around long enough to claim it.

It took Mateo Torrez dying to realise he’d found eternity with someone in a day and left more of a legacy with him than he had ever made alone.

It took Mateo Torrez dying to realise he’d never wished for an afterlife until he had found someone worth holding onto and wished he had held on longer.

And while Mateo Torrez was dying and the pain began to slow, he tried to grasp onto his last coherent thought before the mortality of this day sunk in and memories died with him.

_Rufus Emeterio, here’s to the lifetimes we lived in a day and to the days we’ll live a lifetime from now._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if this doesn't make sense but I have been emotionally broken from this book and I needed something to fill the void. Thank you for reading this mess I appreciate you all :)


End file.
